


Much Ado About Supergirl

by shawdog21



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 16,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shawdog21/pseuds/shawdog21
Summary: A modern version of a classic Shakespeare comedy (with a few changes). More Sanvers then Supercorp.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a typical morning: Lena Luthor sat in her office working until noon when her best friend and practically sister, Maggie Sawyer came into the office to join Lena for lunch. Maggie sat down on the off-white couch as Lena walked over to her holding two glasses of water. She handed Maggie a glass and then took a sip of her own drink before sitting down next to her. It had been a typical morning until the office door opened and Lillian Luthor, Lena’s mother and the owner of L-Corp walked into the office with her assistant by her side.

“My assistant received a text that Cat Grant will be coming to the office.” Lillian said.

“She should be here by the end of the day.” The assistant said.

“How many people’s reputation has she ruined recently?

“A couple, but no one _that_ important.” They both laughed. Lena and Maggie looked at one another.

“I hear she has a new, young reporter, Kara Danvers.”

Maggie smiled and nudged Lena a little with her elbow. Lena’s face blushed a little.

The assistant continued talking. “She deserves the job. She has shown great skill and promise for the future fulfillment in the field of literary endeavor.”

“Is Agent Mountanto coming?” Maggie cut in.

“I don’t know anyone with that name.”

“My friend means Alex Danvers.” Lena said rolling her eyes.

“Oh! Yes she is coming, she’s just as pleasant as before.”

“Tell me, how many people has she arrested and killed? Actually, how many people has she arrested? I promised to kill and eat all of her arrests.” Maggie asked. Lena hit Maggie’s arm a little.

“You mock Alex too much.” Lillian said to Maggie. “But I’m sure she can hold her own.”

“She’s done good work.” The assistant added.

“You had food that had gone bad and she ate it, she’s a very brave eater. She has a good stomach then.”

“And a good soldier too, lady.”

“And a good soldier to a lady. But what is she to a friend?”

“A friend to a friend, a woman to a woman. She is stuffed with honorable virtues.”

“Of course she is stuffed. But she’s stuffed with,” Maggie paused. “Well no one is perfect.”

“Don’t worry about what she says.” Lillian said to her assistant. “There has almost been a war of wit between Maggie and Agent Danvers.”

“But I always win. Last time she lost four of her five wits and now that is all she has. I think she is still able to tell the difference between herself and a horse.”

“I see you are not found of her.” The assistant said.

“I’m not. Tell me, who is her companion? She must have some young fool who would follow her to hell.”

“She seems to be with her sister, Kara, most of the time.”

“Oh poor Kara.” Maggie said to Lena. “Alex is a disease that is easy to catch and hard to get rid of. If she’s caught it then she is done for. There is not a cure.”

The assistant leaned over to Lillian. “I’ll be sure to stay on her good side.” She motioned to Maggie.

“Good plan.”

“I see you will never be swayed by Alex Danvers.” Lillian said.

“Not until it snows in July.”

Someone knocked on the door. “That must be Miss Grant.” The assistant said. Lena stood up and moved closer to the door.

He walked over to the door and opened it. Cat Grant walked through the door enough to hug Lillian. “Lillian Luthor, so kind of you to provide my staff a place to stay. Most people avoid extra work and trouble. But you seem to embrace it.

“You are never a problem.” Lillian said. “In fact, when you leave, you take happiness with you and sorrow is left in your place.”

“I believe this is your daughter.”

Lena smiled and moved to shake Cat’s hand. “That’s what I’ve been told.” Lillian answered.

“Were you ever in doubt?” Alex asked as she walked into the office. Kara and Siobhan walked in behind her. Snapper trailed into the office after the others.

“No Alex. For then you were a child.”

“She got you Alex, your reputation precedes you. Either way, she looks like her mother.” Cat said.

“If Miss Luthor is her mother, I doubt she would want to have the looks of an old woman.” Alex replied.

“Of course you are still talking.” Maggie said standing up. “But Agent Danvers, you know no one is listening to you.”

“Ah! It’s my dear Lady Disdain. You are still alive.” Alex made her way towards the couch.

“Can disdain die when you are when you aren’t here? Even the most courteous turns into disdain around you.”

“Then courtesy is a traitor. Every woman loves me- besides you. Unfortunately my heart is too hard, for I love no one.”

“A dear happiness to women!” Maggie said sitting back down. She crossed her arms behind her head. “Otherwise they would have to deal with a destructive woman like you. I thank God that I am like you. I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than hear someone swear they love me.”

“Stay that way.” Alex sat down at the other end of the couch. “Keep some innocent person’s face from getting scratched.”

“If it was a face like yours, scratching couldn’t make it worse.”

Alex turned to face Maggie. “Well aren’t you a talking bird.”

Maggie smiled and faced Alex as well. “I’d rather be a bird than what ever beast you are.”

“I wish I had a horse that had the same speed and stamina as your mouth.” Alex stood up. “But I am done.” She started to walk back to the rest of the group.

“You always stop like a sick animal. I know you too well.”

Alex joined the rest of the group as Cat continued to talk. “Well, well. Kara and Alex, Lillian has offered you a place to stay for a month. Although she hopes we will be here for longer. I think she means it.”

“I do.” Lillian turned to Snapper. “You are also welcome, now that you and your partner are on good terms again, you are just as welcome as she is.”

“Thank you.” Snapper said. “I don’t talk much, but I am very thankful.”

“Miss Grant, would you like to lead us to where you are staying?”

“Take my hand, we can go together.” Cat said and they walked out of the office. Everyone except for Lena and Maggie followed the two older women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done writing this so hopefully, I'll be on a normal posting schedule then. I'm just really hype to share this so I did the first chapter now. 
> 
> Fun Fact: Shakespeare actually wrote this with the intention of Claudio and Hero being the main couple, not Beatrice and Benedick. I tried to balance them out a little more.
> 
> Also hit me up on tumblr: gay-asa-window
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer


	2. Two

The L-Corp lobby was bustling with employees and people heading to meetings. Kara grabbed Alex’s arm and pulled her aside as the others continued to leave the building. They stood by a pillar that was off to the side.

“Alex, did you see Miss Luthor’s daughter?”

“I glanced at her but I didn’t really look at her.”

“She’s really pretty.”

“Do you want to know what I actually think? Or should I criticize her like I do other women?”

“Tell me the truth.”

“Well, she's too short for me to praise highly, too dark to be praised fairly, and too small to be praised greatly. I guess all I can say is that if she didn't look the way she does, she would be ugly. But since she is her, I don't like her.” Alex moved away a little.

Kara pulled on Alex’s arm. “I’m not kidding. What do you really think about her?”

“Are you thinking of marrying her?”

“Can anyone marry someone as beautiful and kind as Lena?”

“Yes. But are you being serious, or are you just kidding? If I’m talking to you, I need to know where you are.”

Kara leaned against one of the pillars and smiled. “I think she is the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen.”

Alex looked at Kara for a moment. “My eyes are fine but I don’t see what you are talking about.” She paused. “If her friend wasn’t so vile, she would be much more beautiful. You aren’t actually thinking about getting married, are you?”

“Even if I had promised not to, I don’t know if I could keep that promise if Lena wanted to get married.”

“What’s happening? Is there anyone who knows not to get married? She'll just cheat. Will I ever see a single sixty year old again? If you need to tie yourself to marriage go and do it. Say goodbye to any free time you had.” Cat walked over to where they were standing. “Look, Cat is back for you.”

“What are you guys talking about, that you haven’t followed us?” Cat asked.

“I won’t tell unless you order me.” Alex said.

“Then I order you.”

“Kara you are my sister and your secrets are important to me. But I owe my allegiance to Cat.” Alex said. Kara rolled her eyes. Alex turned to Cat. “She is in love. Your next question is with whom. It’s a short answer: Lena. Lillian’s short daughter.”

“What ever you say,” Kara scoffed.

“Look at her deny it.”

Kara looked around the lobby a little. She felt the other two looking at her. “Unless my feelings change, I can’t deny it.”

“It’s okay to love Lena. She’s worthy of your love.” Cat said.

“Are you saying that just to make me feel better?”

“I’m saying it because I think it’s true.”

“I think I love her.”

“I don’t see how she can be loved, or how she could be worthy of it I would die before you could change my mind.” Alex said.

“I’ll see you fall in love before I die.” Cat said.

“You may see me filled with anger, catch sickness, or starve, but never fall in love. If you can prove that I will fall so deeply in love that a round of drinks won't get me out of it, go ahead and pluck out my eyes and stick them at a brothel.”

“I’ll be sure to remember that.”

“If I do, use me as a target. Anyone that hits me can be called a hero.”

“We’ll see. Even the wildest bull can be tamed.”

“A bull maybe. But if you tame me, take the bull’s horns and put them on my forehead. Make me a spectacle, write a sign that says ‘See Alex Danvers, Married Woman.’”

“If that happened, you’d go crazy,” Kara said.

“If Cupid has any extra arrows, maybe he’ll hit you and you’ll quiver and shake.”

“An earthquake is more likely.” Alex said.

“You’ll change your mind. But until then, Alex go with Lillian. Thank her for me and tell her that we will be there for dinner. I am sure she has prepared something great.”

“I can do that. I commit you-”

“Into God’s care.” Kara continued. “From my house, if I had one-”

“July sixth. You loving friend, Alex.” Cat finished.

“Don’t make fun of me.” Alex said. “Your conversations are occasionally trimmed with some wit. But the wit is weak. Before you make fun of me, look at yourself in the mirror. Goodbye.” Alex walked away from them.

Kara turned to Cat. “Miss Grant, I could really use your help.”

“I am here to help you. Tell me what you want me to do, and I will help you.”

“Does Lillian have a son?”

“No, Lena is her only heir. You like her?

“Yes ma'am. When you finished your last series of articles, I looked at her with a journalist's eye. I liked what I saw, but my mind was in its critical mode so it was unlikely that it would turn into love. But now that I am here, that space in my mind has become full of soft and delicate feelings. They are all the same, how beautiful Lena is and how I must have liked her long before.”

“You will be a real lover soon. But your friends will get sick of hearing you talking about your feelings. If you really love Lena, cherish it. I can talk to Lillian about it, and you will have her. That’s why you asked me for help, right?”

“You know exactly how to help me just from looking at me. I don’t want you to think that I am going too fast. I can explain my feelings more.

“You don’t need to. What gets the job done best is best. You love Lena and I will help with that. They are having a party tonight. I can pretend to be you and talk to Lena. I will confess my feelings to her and then I will talk to her mother. Then she will be yours. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be finishing the second draft of the last two chapters today so I'm going to start having a regular(ish) posting schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays, can't guarantee time because of work but likely in the morning. 
> 
> Fun Fact: This is one of Shakespeare's plays that was mostly in prose (made it a lot easier to rework).
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer


	3. Three

Lillian Luthor walked through the L-Corp lobby towards the ballroom with Hank Henshaw beside her. “Where is your assistant? Is he getting the music ready?

“He is doing it as we speak.” Hank said. “But there is something that I need to tell you.”

“Is it good news?”

“I think so. My assistant overheard Miss Grant and Kara talking in the lobby. Miss Grant told Kara that she was in love with your daughter, Lena, and that she was going to tell her tonight at the party. If Lena is willing, then she will find you to ask for your daughter’s hand.”

“Is your assistant smart?

“He is. I can get him to come and tell you himself if you want.”

“No, no. We can pretend it’s a dream until anything actually happens. We should tell Lena now so that she has a heads up. Go and tell her.”

….

Snapper Carr walked into an empty meeting room and checked to make sure that there was no one else in the room. Maxwell Lord walked into the room and double-checked that no one had followed him in.

“What’s wrong sir? You look so sad.”

Snapper sat down in one of the chairs. “The things that are causing my sadness can’t be measured, so my sadness can’t be measured.”

“Do you ever listen to reason?” Maxwell sat down across the table from him.

“What do I get out of it when I do?”

“It won’t instantly solve your problems, but it might make them better.”

“I’m amazed that you criticize me for how I am. You are also a somber man. I am who I am and I can’t hide it. When there is a reason, I will be sad and I won’t laugh at someone’s jokes. I eat when I am hungry, and I don’t wait for it to be convenient. I sleep when I am tired and won’t get up for anyone.”

“Yes, but you don’t need to make such a bid deal about it unless it is necessary. You have challenged and argued with Cat and it wasn’t until recently that she has forgiven you. You need to be careful if you want to stay on her good side. You have to wait until a good time to do what you want.”

“It is better to be hated by everyone than for people to like the fake you. People know that I am not a good man but I know that. Cat trusts me now but as much as a man trusts the dog he muzzled. I’m not going to put on a show. If I were free, I would do what I wanted. Until then, let me be myself and don’t try to change me.”

“Is there any way you can use your suffering to your advantage?”

“That is all I have, so I use it often.”

There is a knock on the door. “Who is that?” Snapper called.

Mon-El entered the room. “I just came from a dinner with Cat Grant and Lillian Luthor. I can tell you about a wedding they were planning.”

“Is there anyway I can meddle? Who is the idiot that is dealing with the drama of planning a wedding?”

“It’s your partner’s right hand woman.”

“Who? That wonderful Kara?” Snapper sneered.

“She’s the one.” Mon-El sat down beside Snapper.

“A talented writer.” He mumbled. “But to whom? Who is she looking at?”

“Lillian’s daughter and successor, Lena.”

“A confident girl, Kara. How did you find out about it?”

“I was in the lobby and hid when I heard Miss Grant and Kara come near me. I heard them decide that Miss Grant would try to impress Lena at the party tonight and then give her to Kara.”

“Come, let’s go to the party. This will cheer me up. Kara is the one that prevented me from getting numerous stories. I will take any chance to screw her over. You’ll both help me right?”

“I will help you until I die.” Maxwell said.

“Let’s go to this dinner.” Snapper stood up. The other two followed suit. “Now that I’ve cheered up, they will be even happier. If only the cook thought like me, he would have poisoned them all. Let’s go see what is happening.”

“After you sir,” Mon-El said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that this is late and short. Shakespeare scenes are not balanced. My wifi doesn't always work with my laptop but it's now on googledocs so I shouldn't miss a day again.
> 
> Fun Fact: In Joss Whedon's movie version of Much Ado About Nothing (2012), Condrade was played by a woman. 
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord


	4. Four

It was a little before the party was supposed to start when Lena and Maggie walked into the ballroom. Lena was wearing an emerald green ball gown and black heels that made her look even taller than Maggie. Maggie was wearing a black dress that went a little past her knees and flats. They walked over to the side where Lillian, Hank, and two of Lena’s assistants, Jess and Alana, were.

“Was Snapper at dinner?” Lillian asked.

“I did not see him.” Hank answered.

“He always looks so angry. I almost get angry just looking at him.” Maggie commented.

“He’s a sad man.” Lena said.

“It would be great if there was someone that was a mix of him and Alex.” She sat down on the bench. “One next seems to talk, the other never seems to stop.”

“Then they would have half the mouth of Alex and half the sadness of Snapper-” Lillian started.

“If they were attractive and rich, they could have anyone they wanted. They would just need their will.” Maggie said as Lena sat down besides her.

“You will never have a wife if you keep being harsh on everyone.”

“She’s too angry,” Hank said to Lillian.

“Is there a difference between being angry and too angry?” Maggie asked. “I think the proverb is that God gives an angry cow short horns. But he doesn’t give any to a cow that’s too angry.”

“But you’re not a cow.” Lena said to Maggie quietly. Maggie laughed a little.

“So by being too angry, you won’t get any horns?”

“Exactly. Every night, I hope that I never get a wife. I couldn’t stand one with long hair, I’d rather sleep wrapped in a scratchy blanket.”

“Maybe you’ll find a wife with short hair.” Lena suggested.

Maggie turned to look at her. “What would I do with her? If she has short hair she might look like a boy, and if she looks like a boy, then she is not the one for me. They say that the women who are unmarried when they die lead people to the gates of hell. Then I guess I’ll join them.”

“You’ll go to hell?” Lillian asked.

“No, just to the gate where I’ll meet the devil. He’ll tell me that hell is no place for a woman that was not soiled by marriage and that I should be in heaven. There I’ll meet Saint Peter and he’ll show me where the other bachelorettes are and I’ll be happy there.”

“I trust you will listen to your mother about these decisions.” Hank said to Lena.

“Sure,” Maggie said before Lena could answer. “Lena often listens and nods and does as she’s told. But if she isn’t a beautiful girl,” Maggie put her arm around Lena’s shoulders. “Then you should ask nicely for a new one.”

“Well I hope to see you one day with a wife.” Lillian said.

“Not until God makes women with something other than dirt.”

“Lena remember what I told you, if Kara is interested in you, you know how to respond.”

“Just make sure she woos you enough.”

“The guests are starting to arrive.”

Maggie and Lena stood back up and put on their masks. Guests started to enter the ballroom including Cat, Kara and Alex, all three dressed nicely and wearing masks.

Cat walked over to Lena. “May I have this dance?” She asked.

“As long as you can dance, look beautiful, and not say anything, I’ll dance with you. And maybe after that.” Lena took Cat’s outstretched hand. Cat led her to the dance floor.

“Will I be with you then?”

“Maybe, if I say you can.”

“When will you tell me?”

“When I see that you are beautiful. Hopefully your face is more beautiful than your mask.”

“My mask is like a simple roof to a beautifully decorated cottage.”

“Does your mask make you look shorter as well?” Lena commented. Cat laughed and motioned for them to dance.

Mon-El and Alana were dancing together, not too far away. “I wish you like me.” Mon-El said.

“For your sake, I’m glad. I’m not that good. I have many bad traits.”

“What’s one?”

She paused. “I pray out loud.”

“That makes me like you more. Then everyone who hears you can also say ‘amen.’”

“Please God, give me a good dancing partner.”

“Amen.”

“And make sure she is gone when we are done dancing.”

“No more talking.”

On the other side of the dance floor Maggie and Alex were dancing together. “Will you tell me who told you?” Maggie asked.

“No, you will have to forgive me.”

“And you won’t tell me who you are?”

“Not now.”

“Who said I was scornful and that my insults came from a bad book?” Maggie paused. “It had to have come from Agent Danvers.”

“Who?”

“You have to know her.”

“Believe me, I don’t.”

“She’s never made you laugh?”

“Please tell me, who is she?”

“She’s Miss Grant’s fool, and a boring one at that. Her only talent is that she can come up with lies about someone that no one would believe. The worst people enjoy being with her and they don’t like her for her wit. They like her because she is brazen. She makes people laugh but also annoys them. They’ll laugh then beat her up. I am sure she is here, I thought she stepped on me earlier.”

Alex laughed a little uncomfortably. “Well when I meet this woman, I will tell her what you said.”

“Please do. I’m sure she’ll say some things about me and if no one laughs at it, she’ll be too sad to eat dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Shakespeare text has very little stage directions and notes besides the actual dialogue. That gives a lot of freedom to interpretation for example are the characters actually fooled by disguises.
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess


	5. Five

The party was in full swing. Almost everyone was out on the dance floor. Lena led Cat off of the dance floor and towards a nearby elevator. Kara stood by the bar, watching the two go into the elevator and the doors close behind them. Kara finished her drink and had the bartender pour her a new one.

Snapper and Mon-El walked towards the bar. “That’s Kara Danvers,” Mon-El whispered to Snapper.

Snapper walked to the bar and ordered himself a drink. “You’re Alex Danvers right?”

“Yes,” Kara lied.

“Miss Grant likes you. She’s in love with Lena.” He paused and took a sip of his drink. Kara faced him. “Can you go and change her mind? Miss Grant is far too good for her. You’d be doing everyone a favour if you talked her out of it.”

“How do you know?” Kara moved closer.

“I heard her swear it.”

“I did too.” Mon-El stood on the other side of Kara. “Miss Grant said she would marry Lena tonight.”

“Let’s get food.” Snapper said to Mon-El. They both walked away, leaving Kara alone at the bar.

Kara took off her mask and rested some of her weight against the bar. “I pretended to be Alex, but I still heard what he said with my own ears. Of course Miss Grant wants Lena for herself.” She finished her drink and then motioned for another. “Friendship does not exist when love is involved.” She took a large swig of her drink. “People in love should speak for themselves, they should not rely on someone else. Beauty can change loyalty into passion. I know this happens but I never thought it would happen to me. Goodbye Lena.” She finished the drink in one gulp and then slammed the glass down.

Alex walked over to Kara. “Kara?”

“Yes.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Where?”

“Over there. We can hide there since Cat is talking to your Lena.”

“I hope she is happy with her,” Kara snarked.

“You sound like someone ripped you off. Do you think Miss Grant would do that to you?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Look at you, you’re not even going after what hurt you.”

“If you won’t go, then I will.” Kara walked away.

Alex motioned and the bartender began to pour her a glass of wine. “The poor girl,” she said as she accepted the glass. “She’ll probably hide now.” She took a large sip. “But Maggie knew that it was me but also didn’t. She called me a fool, maybe because I joke around. But I don’t think she meant it that way. That’s not my reputation. Maggie’s sarcastic personality makes her think the rest of the world shares her opinions. That’s why she talks about me the way she does.” She paused and took another sip. “I’ll get my revenge.”

Cat walked over to the bar, no longer wearing her mask. “Where is Kara? Have you seen her?”

“Yes and I told her the news. I came over here and she was sad. I told her what I thought was true that you had impressed Lena. I offered to go with her to get ready for her beating.”

“Beating? What’d did she do?”

“She was like a child that found a birds nest and showed it to her friend who happily steals it from her.”

“Is trusting a friend a crime? The real criminal there is the thief.”

“Then she should be the beater. And beaten you. I’ve heard you’re the one who stole her nest.”

“I just want to teach the baby birds how to sing, then I will return them to their owner.”

“If the chicks do what you say, then I know you are telling the truth.”

“Miss Sawyer is mad at you. The woman she danced with told her you insulted her.”

“No one could handle her insults. Even something dying would use its energy to fight her. It seemed like my mask wanted to come alive just to fight her. She didn’t know it was me but she told me that I was your fool, more boring than an impassible road blockage. She made fun of me over and over again so quickly that all I could do was stand there. Her words are daggers and they all stab. If her breath was as bad as the words she said, she would kill everything in the universe. I would not marry her, even if she had everything in the world. She would have made the great Hercules do chores. Don’t talk about her. She is the goddess of mischief and discord; she just hides herself in nice clothes. I wish God would send her away. It’s quieter in hell; people are sinning just to get away from her. Uneasiness, horror, and confusion follow her.”

“Look here she comes.” Cat said.

Alex turned around and saw Maggie walking towards them with Lillian and Lena and Kara not far behind them.

“Would you send me on a job to the end of the earth? I’ll go anywhere for the smallest job. I will go to Asia just to get you a toothpick. I’d do anything to avoid talking to this woman. There must be something I can do.”

“No. Just your company.”

Alex moved away a little. “Oh God, here is a dish I hate.” Alex passed by Maggie. “Tongue.” She walked away.

“You have lost Agent Danvers heart.”

“I did.” Maggie said. “She leant it to me once and I gave her back a double for her single. She won it before in a trick game of dice, so I guess you can say I have lost it.”

“You have embarrassed her, you have put her down.”

“I hope she doesn’t put me down, otherwise my children will be fools. I brought Kara who you asked me to get.” She motioned behind herself to Kara who was sulking.

“What’s wrong, why are you so sad?”

“I’m not sad.” Kara said.

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

“She isn’t sad or sick, or happy, or well. She’s just serious, she looks jealous.” Maggie said.

“I agree with your description, but she has no reason to. Kara, I have impressed Lena for you and she has agreed to marry you. I’ve told her mother and she’s given permission. When do you want to get married?”

“Kara,” Lillian moved towards her. “Take my daughter and what I have. Miss grant has made the match and God bless it.”

“That’s your cue Kara,” Maggie said to her.

“Complete happiness makes me speechless.” She turned to Lena. “If I was only a little happy, then I could say as much.” She held out her hands. “Lena, you are mine and I am yours.” Lena took Kara’s hands. “I give myself away for you and I am thrilled about it.”

“Say something, Lena. Or if you can’t, shut her up with a kiss.”

“How about you shut up,” Lena said to Maggie and then kissed Kara.

“You have a happy heart,” Cat said to Maggie as they moved away from Kara and Lena.

“Yes. I thank my heart, the poor fool; it keeps me from anything too serious. Look she is telling Kara that she loves her.”

“She is!” Kara said.

“Come, I’ll show you the view from the terrace.” Lena said and then they walked towards the elevator.

“Thank God! Everyone is getting married but not me because I am ugly. I should go sit in a corner and sing a ballad for a wife.”

“Miss Sawyer I will get you one.” Cat offered.

“I would rather have one of your father’s. Do you have a sister like you?”

“Will you take me?”

“No. Unless I could have another wife during the week. You are too expensive to have everyday. Please excuse me ma’am, I was born to speak in sarcasm not substance.”

“I’d be more offended if you said nothing. Being lively suits you better.”

“Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I have to check on something.” Maggie walked away from the older women who continued to drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Much Ado About Nothing (and Hamlet) have both been translated into Klingon 
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess


	6. Six

Snapper and Mon-El walked along an empty hallway in L-Corp as the party dwindled down. “So Kara is going to marry Lillian’s daughter.” Snapper said.  
“Yes, but I can ruin it.”  
“Anything that gets in the way of Kara’s happiness will make me feel better. I hate her so much, she makes me sick.” He paused. “How can you ruin it?”  
“I will have to lie in order to do it. But it will be done secretly so no one will suspect me.”  
“Tell me quickly.”  
“I think I once told you that one of Lena’s assistants, Alana, likes me.”  
“Yes.”  
“I can have her look out of Lena’s bedroom window late at night.”  
“How will that ruin the marriage?”  
“That is your part. Go to Cat and tell her she has made a mistake by setting up Kara who is someone you respect with someone as dirty as Lena.”  
“What proof do I have?”  
“Enough to trick Cat, make Kara angry, destroy Lena, and kill Lillian. Is there anything else you want?”  
“That’s what I want, and I’ll do anything to get it.”  
“Find time to talk to Cat and Kara alone. Tell them that Lena loves me and pretend to be concerned for them. Both of their reputations will be ruined by this woman who is supposedly loyal. They won’t believe you without proof. So tell them that you’ve seen me at Lena’s window and take them the night before the wedding. I’ll make sure Lena is gone so that they actually see me and Alana. I’ll call her ‘Lena.’ That should prove her disloyalty and the wedding will be called off.”  
“Get everything ready and I will do it. If this goes well, you will be well rewarded.”  
“If you are convincing enough with the accusation, the cunning won’t fail.”  
“I’ll go and find out when the wedding is. You go back to Alana.”  
….  
The party was over and almost every one of the guests had left. A couple of people were still by the bar. Cat and Lillian sat on one of the couches near the door back to the lobby wine in hand.  
“Maggie seems like a happy woman.” Cat commented after Maggie walked past them.  
“She is not sad much. Sometimes she is sad, but not much. Lena has told me that she has dreams of being sad but then wakes herself up by laughing.”  
“She can’t stand hearing about getting a wife.”  
“No, she makes fun of any nearby woman so much that they flee.”  
“She’d be a good wife for Alex.”  
Lillian coughed on her wine. “If they were married, they would drive the other insane within a week.”  
Cat paused. Kara and Lena walked by them, holding hands. “Kara, when are you going to get married?”  
They stopped. “Tomorrow. Time seems to move so slowly until we can make our love official.”  
“Wait until Monday. It’s only a week away. That still isn’t enough time to plan everything the way I want.” Lillian said.   
Kara’s face started to fall and creep towards her pout. “Don’t look so upset that you have to wait.” Cat said. “The time will go quickly. While we wait, I am going to take on a very difficult job. I will make Alex and Maggie wall in love with one another.” Kara and Lena started to laugh. “I think they will be good together and with your help I think it will happen.”  
“I will help you, even if I have to stay up every night.” Lillian said.  
“How much have you had to drink mother?”  
“I will too,” Kara said. Lena looked at her surprised.  
“What about you Lena?” Cat asked.  
Lena looked at them and then back at Kara who had her signature pout on. “I will do anything decent to help Maggie.”  
“Alex is not the worst wife that I could think of. She comes from a good family and has proven bravery in her job, and is honest. Lena, I can show you how to make Maggie fall in love with Alex. We will trick Alex so that she will fall in love with Maggie despite her queasiness to the idea of marriage.”  
They all gathered around Cat closer so that they could hear her plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: There is actually a bit of a debate on whether Antionio is Beatrices father or not. We know that Antonio and Leonato are brothers and that Leonato is Beatrices uncle, but it is unclear who her father is. 
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess


	7. Seven

The next day, the L-Corp lobby was empty except for Alex who was lounging on one of the couches on her phone. She scrolled past a picture of Kara and Lena from the previous night. “I wonder how a woman can fall for love after making fun of other fools in love. She has become the object of her own mockery by falling in love. And such a woman is Kara.” Alex locked her phone and rested it against her chin. “I knew her when her focus would be on work, but now it’s about fun. She would speak normally but her diction now is filled with fluff. Will I change and see like she does?” She paused. “I don’t know, but probably not. I can’t swear that love wouldn’t change me. But I can swear that a woman could never make me act like a fool until I am truly in love with her.” 

Alex sat up a little and unlocked her phone again and continued to scroll through Instagram. “A beautiful woman can come and I’m fine. A smart one and I’m fine. A pure one, and I’m fine. She must be all three before I could fall in love with her. She has to be rich, that’s a must have. And smart, or I wouldn’t want to talk to her. Loyal or I’d never bid on her. Beautiful or I wouldn’t look at her. Mild or she should stay away from me. Noble or she’s not worthy. She must be able to talk and be a good musician. Her hair,” Alex paused. “Be whatever color God decides.”

Cat, Lillian, and Kara walked into the lobby. “Uhg it’s Miss Grant and Madame Love. I should hide.” Alex moves to roll over the back of the couch and hides behind it.

“Did you see where Alex hid herself?” Cat said to the others as the walked towards the couch.

“Yes,” Kara said, laughing a little.

“Lillian,” Cat’s voice a little louder than normal. “What was it you said to me earlier about Maggie being in love with Alex. Alex popped her head up from behind the couch.

“I didn’t think Maggie would love anyone.” Kara said.

“Me too. But it is nice that she likes Alex, it always seemed like she hated her.”

“Is it possible that this would happen?” Alex asked herself quietly.

“I don’t know what to think. But she loves her with so much passion that it is beyond understanding.”

“Is she pretending?” Cat asked.

“That seems likely.”

“Pretending? God no. No one could pretend to have as much passion as she shows.”

“How does she show it? She will sit -” Lillian paused. “You heard my daughter tell you how.”

“She did,” Kara agreed.

“Please tell me! This is incredible. I thought she would be immune to any type of love.” Cat said.

“That’s what I thought too. Especially related to Alex.” Lillian added.

“If it weren’t for Lillian saying this, I would think they’re lying.” Alex murmured.

“We’re doing it.” Kara whispered. They moved closer and sat down on the couch. Alex moved and hid behind the pillar that was not too far away.

“Has she told Alex how she feels?” Cat asked.

“No and she never will. That’s the worst part.” Lillian said.

“It’s true. Lena said so. Maggie said ‘does it make sense to tell her I love her when I have always been so mean to her.’” Kara said.

“She gets up in the middle of the night to try and write a letter. Lena told me.”

“Now that you mention paper, I remember a funny story Lena told us.”

“Do you mean the one that Lena found that has ‘Alex’ and ‘Maggie’ written all over it?”

“That one.”

“She tore it into a thousand small pieces. She gives herself a hard time for writing a letter for a woman that she knows would make fun of her. She said that ‘I think about what I would do, and I know I would make fun of her if she wrote me a letter like that. Even though I love her, I would make fun of her.’”

“Then she curls up and cries. ‘Oh sweet Alex! God give me patience!’”

“She does, Lena told me. She worries that Maggie is so upset that she may harm herself one day.”

Kara and Cat look at Lillian sternly. “Someone else should tell Alex if Maggie won’t do it.” Cat said quickly.

“What would that do?” Kara asked. “Alex would just make fun of it and hurt Maggie worse.”

“If that happened it would justify punishing Alex. Maggie is a good woman.”

“She is very smart.”

“Except for loving Alex.”

“The brain and the heart fight and the heart often wins.” Lillian said. “I feel sorry for her.”

“I wish she were in love with me. I would put everything else aside and make her my wife. You should tell Alex and see what she has to say.”

“You think it’s a good idea?”

“Lena thinks Maggie will surely die.” Kara said. “She says she will die if she doesn’t love her and she will die before she tells her, and she’ll died if Alex woos her and she has to refrain from insulting her.”

“She’s right.” Cat said. “If she expresses her love, she’ll probably make fun of her. She is arrogant.”

“Alex is a beautiful woman.”

“Yes she is good-looking and takes care of herself.”

“She is very smart.”

“She appears to have wit.”

“And I think she is brave.”

“She is quite brave. Well I am sorry for you friend. Should we go and find Alex and tell her of Maggie’s love?”

“Never tell her ma’am. Let Maggie get over her.”

“That won’t happen.” Lillian said. “Her heart will break first.”

“Let it sit. We will need to hear more from Lena. I love Alex and I wish she could look at herself and see how unfairly she’s been treating Maggie.” Cat said.

“Do you want to walk? Lunch is ready?”

They all stood up and started to walk away. “If she doesn’t fall in love with her, I will never trust my gut again.” Kara said to the others.

“We have to do the same to Maggie. Lena and her assistants must do that. It will work when they both believe the other is in love. It will be fun to watch.” She paused. “Let’s have Maggie get Alex for lunch.” They walk out of the lobby.

Alex moves out from the pillar. “They can’t be lying. They sounded very serious and Lena said so. They seem to pity Maggie. Her love seems to be stretched to the limit. Love me?” Alex sat down on the couch. “I need to return it. I’ve heard my criticisms, they think I’ll be smug if I find out. They also said that she would rather die than tell me. I never thought I’d get married.” She paused. “I can’t seem proud. Now that I’ve heard my faults I can try to fix them. They say that she is beautiful; it’s true, I’ve seen her. They say she is loyal, I can’t disprove that. And she is smart, except in love me. That may not prove her intelligence but it won’t prove her dumbness either. I will be in love with her as well. I might struggle some but that is because I’ve joked about being against marriage for so long. But your tastes can change. Will sarcasm and jokes prevent someone from getting their heart’s desires? No!” She stood up. “The world needs love.” She paused again. “When I said that I would die a bachelorette, I did not think I would live until I got married.” Maggie got off of the elevator and walked towards Alex. She was staring at her phone, only glancing up to see where Alex was. “Here she comes. She is beautiful. I think I see signs of love in her.” Alex straightened up and brushed off her clothes.

“Against my will I am supposed to get you for lunch.” Maggie said not looking up from her phone. She was chewing gum obviously.

“Sweet Maggie thank you for taking the effort to tell me.” Alex almost bowed.

“It did not take me any more effort to tell you than it took for you to thank me. If it had been a lot of effort, I would not have come.” She looked up at Alex who was smiling widely. Maggie looked confused and raised an eyebrow at her before sarcastically smiling back.

“So you enjoyed giving me the message?”

“Oh yes, as much as you enjoy choking at knife-point.”

Alex started to laugh and Maggie rolled her eyes. She watched Alex smiling and laughing for another moment before she walked away, shaking her head. “Ha! ‘Against my will, I am supposed to get you for lunch.’” She paused. “There’s a double meaning in that. “It did not take me any more effort to tell you then it took me to thank you.’ That’s like saying ‘doing something for you is as easy as saying thanks.’ If I don’t take pity on her, I am evil. If I don’t love her, I am cold-hearted. I’ll go get her picture.” Alex quickly started to walk towards the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been really shitty about posting. My wifi doesn't like my laptop a large portion of the time. I'm hoping to be back on schedule now.
> 
> Fun Fact: In the David Tennant and Catherine Tate version has this scene happening on a revolving platform and Tennant getting covered in paint. You should look it up on youtube bc its really good.
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess


	8. Eight

Lena, Jess, and Alana walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. “Alana, go ahead and check to see if Maggie is in there.” Lena said and Alana did as she was told. “Okay Jess, when we go in there, we will only talk about Alex. You need to compliment her more than you’ve complimented anyone. I’ll talk about how much she loves Maggie.”

Alana walked back out of the bathroom and gave them a thumbs up. Lena and Jess walked into the bathroom and towards the sink. The only other person in there was Maggie who was in one of the stalls. They walked over to the sinks.

“Are you sure that Alex loves Maggie?” Jess asked.

There was a clatter from the sound of Maggie’s phone hitting the floor. She quickly picked it up. Lena and Jess looked at the stall and smiled at each other. “That’s what Miss Grant and Kara say.” Lena said.

“Did they ask you to tell Maggie?”

“Yes. But I convinced them that that was a bad idea. If they really loved Alex, it would be better for her to get over her feelings and not tell Maggie.”

“Why? Alex deserves love and Maggie could provide that.”

“I know that Alex deserves love. But there isn’t anyone as proud as Maggie. She makes fun of almost everything she sees. She values her sarcasm over everything else. She loves herself so much that there isn’t room for her to love anyone else. I don’t think she knows what love is.”

“You’re right. If she knew Alex loved her, she would probably make fun of her.”

“Exactly. Any woman that comes near, Maggie finds some way to insult her.”

“She’s quite good at nitpicking and that’s not a compliment.”

“No it isn’t. But no one will tell her that. If I did she would probably make fun of me so much that it would probably kill me. So Alex should hide her feelings, like a smothered fire. It would be a better way to die than being mocked to death.”

“You should tell Maggie about this and see what she say’s.”

“No. I’ll talk to Alex and tell her to fight against her feelings. I can lie and ruin Maggie’s reputation. You’d be surprised how quickly feelings can go away from one negative word.”

“Don’t hurt Maggie like that. She’s supposed to be smart, she couldn’t be stupid enough to turn down someone as good as Agent Danvers.”

“She’s the only good person in National City besides Kara.”

“Don’t be mad, but I’ve heard people say that Alex is considered the best when it comes to beauty, intelligence, and bravery.”

“She does have an excellent reputation.”

“She deserves it.” Jess paused. “When are you getting married?”

“Tomorrow. Come with me and you can help me with the set up.” They walked out of the bathroom.

“We got her, she fell for the bait.”

“I think so.”

Maggie walked out of the stall and made sure she was alone. “Can this be true? Do people judge me this much for being proud and sarcastic?” She looked at herself in the mirror. “I’ll change. I’ll stop being so proud of being single. People don’t say good things when your back is turned. Alex: keep loving me. I will return the feelings. I’ll be nice to you from now on and hopefully that will help you express your feelings to me. People say you deserve my love. And I believe it more than they say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: In the David Tennant and Catherine Tate version has this scene involves Catherine Tate hanging from "the ceiling" for parts of it.  
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess


	9. Nine

Alex, Cat, Kara, and Lillian were walking through the L-Corp lobby.

“I’ll stay in National City until your wedding, and then I’ll leave.” Cat said.

“If you let me, I’ll come with you.” Kara said.

“No. Taking you away from your new marriage would be bad. I’ll just ask Alex to come with me since she has escaped love several times.”

“I am a changed woman,” Alex said.

“You seem more serious,” Lillian said.

“I hope you are in love,” Kara said.

“Yeah right,” Cat said. “She couldn’t fall in love. If she looks serious, she must need money.”

“I have a toothache.” Alex whined.

“Pull it.”

“Quickly!”

“You have to be hanged first before being cut into parts.” Kara added.

“Are you complaining about your tooth?”

“It must have been caused by some sort of parasite.”

“Everyone seems to know how to fix pain except for the one suffering.”

“She’s in love.” Kara said again.

“There’s no love in her. She’s in a different costume every day. The only love she has is for foolishness, but she is not a fool for love like you think.”

“She shows the normal signs of being in love with a woman.”

“Her shorter hair does make her look younger.”

“And she’s wearing perfume right now,” Cat commented.

“That’s enough proof that she’s in love.” Kara settled on.

“But the biggest clue is how serious she looks.”

“And when has she washed her face?”

“Or worn make-up?”

“Her energy that goes into mockery seems to have gone into serenading.”

“It all adds up to Alex being in love.”

“And I know who loves her.”

“I know that too. But I don’t think she knows Alex well.”

“She does know Alex, including all of her bad qualities, but she still loves her.”

“Good luck to her.”

“This talking is not helping my toothache.” Alex turned to Lillian. “Ma’am, would you like to go on a walk? I have some things to talk to you about that I don’t want these fools to hear.” Alex and Lillian walked out.

“I bet she’s gone with Lillian to talk about Maggie.”

“Probably,” Kara said. “Lena and Alana have done their part with Maggie. They won’t make fun of each other next time they see each other.”

Snapper walked into the room and up to them. “Miss Grant.”

“Good evening Snapper.”

“Could I speak to you for a moment?”

“In private?”

“If you want. Although Miss Danvers can stay, what I have to tell you involves her too.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re getting married tomorrow right?”

“You know that she is.”

“I do not know, once she knows what I know.”

“If there is a reason I shouldn’t get married, please tell me.”

“You may think I don’t like you, but after I tell you this, you will like me more. Cat thinks highly of you and helped to arrange your marriage. But that was a waste of time and energy.”

“Why what’s wrong?” Cat asked.

“I’ll make this short. I came to tell you that your lady has been unfaithful.”

“Lena?” Kara asked.

“Yes, Lillian’s Lena, your Lena,” he scoffed. “Everyone’s Lena.”

“Unfaithful? That can’t be right.”

“If you could think of a worse word, that’s what she is. If you need proof, come with me tonight and you’ll see a man enter her bedroom. The night before her wedding. If you still love her, then get married. But it would be better if you changed your mind.”

“Do you believe it?” Kara asked Cat.

“Not a word of it.” Cat answered.

“If you don’t come tonight, you can’t say you truly know her. If you come, I’ll show her all the proof you need.” Snapper put his hand on Kara’s shoulder. “Once you have seen and heard more you can decide what to do.”

“If I see anything that gives me a reason not to marry her, I will shame her where we would have gotten married.”

“And since I helped woo her for you, I’ll help shame her.” Cat added.

“I won’t say anything else about her until you see yourselves. Stay calm until midnight, then you’ll see.”

“This day has turned into a disaster.”

“Once you’ve seen part two, you’ll say “thank God, a plague has been prevented.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess


	10. Ten

It was a little after midnight James and Winn walked down the street near L-Corp and the Luthor apartments. They stop when the reached a group of watchmen standing near a church. “Are you good and honest men?” James asked them.

“Yes, otherwise they should suffer salvation, body and soul.” Winn said.

“If they had any allegiance when they were chosen to be part of Miss Grant’s watch, that is not a good enough punishment, that is not a good enough punishment.”

“Give them their orders.”

“Which one of you thinks you are the most desartless to be the leader?”

“Hugh Oatcake or George Seacole, sir.” One watchman said. “They can both read and write.”

“Come here Seacole. You have a good name. It’s lucky to be good-looking but it’s a natural gift to be able to read and write.”

“Both of which, master constable-” Seacole started.

“You have. I know that's your answer. For your good looks, thank God but don't boast about them. Use your reading and writing skills when you can't use your looks. People think you are the most senseless and ready to be a leader. So here are your orders: you will comprehend any wandering man you see. You will order them to stop in Miss Grants name.”

“What if he won’t stop?”

“Don’t worry about him and let him go. Call the rest of the watch and then thank God you got rid of a criminal.”

“If he doesn't stop when asked, then he is not part of CatCo.” Winn added.

“And you are to only meddle with people relating to CatCo. Babbling on watch is most tolerable and will not be permitted.”

“We would rather sleep than talk. We know what to do on watch.” Seacole said.

“You sound like a quiet and experienced watchman. I can't see how sleeping on watch would be a problem, just make sure that your weapons aren't stolen. You also need to go to the bars and tell anyone that's drunk to go home.” James said.

“What if they won’t?”

“Leave them alone until they sober up.”

“Very well sir.”

“If you meet a thief, he will be dishonest. You will be more honest the less you interact with that type.”

“If we know a man is a thief should we try to arrest him?”

“Your job allows you to. But people who put their hands in tar get their hands dirty. It would probably be best to let him go and be himself.”

“You have always been known as a merciful man,” Winn added.

“I wouldn’t hang a dog, much more a man who has any honesty in him.”

Winn looked at the watchmen. “If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call a nurse to have her quiet it.”

“What if the nurse is asleep and doesn’t hear us?” Seacole asked.

“Leave quietly, the child's crying will wake up the nurse. That is all of your orders. Well gentlemen, goodnight. And if anything important happens, find me. Goodnight.”

“We’ve heard our orders. Let’s sit here on the church bench until two, then go to bed.”

“One more thing. Watch over L-Corp tonight. The wedding is there tomorrow and there is a lot to do tonight. Please be vigitant.” James and Winn walked away.

The watch spread out a little, two of them walk towards L-Corp.

“Maxwell!” Mon-El called. He is standing a little outside of the L-Corp building, in the shadows.

“Quiet, don’t move.” Seacole said to the other watchman.

“Maxwell!” Mon-El called again.

“I’m here at your elbow.”

“I thought I felt a scab there.”

“I’ll get you for that.” Maxwell paused. “Just continue your story.”

“Let’s stand under this balcony.” They moved away from L-Corp a little.

“I think something sketch is happening.” Seacole said.

“I should have earned about a thousand dollars from Snapper.”

“Is such a crime so valuable?” Maxwell asked.

“You should be asking if it is possible that a criminal is so rich? When a rich villain needs the services from a poor villain, the poor can name his price.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“That show’s your inexperience.”

“I know him.” Seacole whispered to the other watchman. “For the past seven years he’s been a thief. He walks around pretending to be a gentleman.”

“Did you hear someone?”

“It was just the flag in the wind.” Maxwell said.

“I was with Alana, one of Lena's assistants. I called her "Lena" the entire time. She leaned out of Lena's bedroom window and told me to have a goodnight over and over. I'm not telling this well. I should go back, Snapped planned for Miss Grant, Kara, and himself to witness this encounter from a little ways away.”

“And they thought Alana was Lena?”

“Miss Grant and Kara did. Snapper knew it was Eve. They believed it partially because Snapper told them, which made them start doubting Lena. It was dark and the dark can be tricky. But mostly because of what I did, which confirmed what Snapper said. Kara left furious, swearing that she'd go to the wedding as planned and shame her in front of everyone.”

“In Miss Grant’s name, stop!” Seacole said as he moved right next to them.

“Call up Mr. Olsen. We have recovered the most dangerous type of lechery ever known.” The other watchman said.

“One of them is a criminal.”

“Gentlemen, gentlemen-” Maxwell started.

“Gentlemen, don’t speak. We obey you to come with us.”

“We are probably a valuable catch for these guys.” Mon-El said.

“I don’t know about that. Let’s go, we’ll obey you.” Maxwell muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who finally stopped being horrible and updated! I've been really swamped and haven't had time to post the updates recently.  
> Anyways for those who don't know much about the play, Dogberry (James) and Verges (Winn) are the 'fools' of the show, the sort of comedic relief of the play. If a word they say doesn't make sense, it is likely because they mean the opposite. For example, when they say 'salvation' they really mean 'damnation'.   
> This is what Nathon Fillion had to say about playing Dogberry. "Which is, I think, true for stupid people: Stupid people don't know that they're stupid -- they think they're the smartest guy in the room."
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn


	11. Eleven

Lena was in her bedroom with Jess and Alana. They were getting ready for the wedding. “Jess, will you go and get Maggie?”

“Yes ma’am,” Jess said and then got up and left the room.

“I think your other necklace is better.” Alana said holding up a necklace.

“No, I’ll wear this one.”

“I swear it’s not as good. Maggie will agree with me.”

“Maggie is a fool and so are you. I’ll wear this one and not that one.”

“I really like your dress, it’s nicer than the ones celebrities have that they compliment so much.”

“I hope I like wearing it, I’ve heard it’s very heavy.”

“And it will be heavier soon, by the weight of another woman.”

Lena hit Alana playfully. “C’mon, do you have any shame?”

“Of what? Sex in marriage is not un-honorable, for everyone. Isn’t your wife an honorable woman? What’s wrong with admitting that your wife may be lying on you later? Or the other way around. As long as she’s the right wife, there isn’t anything wrong. Ask Maggie, here she comes.”

Maggie walked into the room. “Good morning.” Lena said.

“Morning,” Maggie responded.

“Why do you sound weird? You sound like you’re sick.”

“I must be, I can’t talk in another tune.”

“If you want a song, we could play ‘What’s Love Got to Do With It’.”

“You should be ready by now.” Maggie said. She sat down in a nearby chair. “I really don’t feel well.”

“Is it for a hawk, a horse, or a wife?”

“I have an ache, I’m sighing for that.”

“God sends everyone their heart’s desires,” Alana said looking at Maggie.

“Look at these nicely perfumed gloves,” Lena handed Maggie gloves.

“I can’t smell, I’m stuffed.”

“A single lady and already stuffed. Good way to catch a cold.” Alana joked.

“Oh God, when did you become so sarcastic?”

“When you stopped. Does it not fit me?”

“People don’t see it enough, you should wear it on your head.” Maggie paused to sniffle. “I really am sick.”

“I should get you some Alexanders for you to put on your chest. That will help you feel better.” Alana said and Lena smiled, trying to cover up a chuckle.

“Alexanders!” Maggie practically leapt out of the chair. “Why Alexanders? Are you trying to suggest something?”

“No, no. I just mean that you should use some flower or something. Do you think that I think you are in love? No. Ma’am, I am not stupid enough to think that and I could never think that you are in love. Although,” she started slowly. “Alex was also against love, she seems to have changed her mind. She swore she would never get married, but now she’s in love. I don’t know how we would change you.” She paused. “But I think that you look with your eyes like any other woman does.”

“Why are you saying such crazy things?”

“Not untrue though.” Alana said.

Jess walked back into the room. “Ma’am, it’s almost time to go.”

“Come help me get dressed and then we can go.”

….

Lillian walked around the L-Corp lobby. James and Winn walked over to her. “What do you want?” She asked curtly.

“I have some news that decerns you a lot.” James said.

“Please be quick, I’m very busy.”

“I see.”

“I see too.” Winn added.

“What’s the news?” Lillian asked impatiently?

“I’m sorry, Winn can often ramble. His wits are not as blunt as I wish they were but he is honest.”

“Yes, thankfully I am as honest as the other men who are not honester than I am.” Winn said.

“Comparing yourself is odorous, Winn. Continue the story.” James said.

“You are becoming tedious.” Lillian said.

“Thank you but we are poor officers. If we were as tedious as a king, I would give you everything.”

“You’d give me all of your tediousness?” Lillian asked.

“Yes and even more. I hear you are exclaimed through the city. I’m only a poor man, but I’m glad to hear it.”

“Me too,” Winn added.

“Gentlemen please tell me your news.”

“Ma’am. Last night, our watch has captured a couple of the worst criminals in National City.”

“Winn is a good man, but he’s always talking.” James said to Lillian before turning to Winn. “You did well.” He turned back to Lillian. “Winn is as honest as any man, but not all men are equal.”

“Yes he is not nearly as impressive as you.” Lillian said to James.

“Those are gifts from God. I had not part.”

“I have to get back to the wedding.”

“One more thing ma’am. We comprehended two sketchy men. We’d like it if you interrogated them this morning.”

“Interrogate them yourselves then come back to me with what you have learned. I’m in a rush as you can see.”

“That will be suffigance.”

An assistant walked over to Lillian. “Ma’am, they are waiting for you to give your daughter to Miss Danvers.”

“I’m coming.” Lillian walked away, followed by her assistant.

“Get Francis Seacole and have him bring pen and paper to the jail. We will now examination these men.” James said to Winn.

“We must do this wisely.” Winn replied.

“We will spare no wit. We will drive them to a noncome. Get the writer to record us and I’ll meet you at jail.” James said and then walked out of the lobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a mention of Alexanders (Smyrnium olusatrum) which was used as a traditional medicine in China.   
> Shout out to one of my favourite humans for finding the plant for me (even though she probs won't see this). 
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn


	12. Twelve

The rooftop terrace was filled with guests for the wedding. Music played and Jess and Alana walked down the aisle before Maggie. Followed by Lillian walking Kara down the aisle. At the end was an arbor that had been covered in flowers with Friar J’onn standing right in front of it with Kara standing a little to his right. The music ended as Lillian and Lena reached J’onn and Kara. Lillian took a couple steps back as Lena walked up to Kara.

J’onn turned to Kara. “Do you come here to marry this woman?”

Kara looked at Lena. Lena smiled at Kara. “No.”

Lillian laughed uncomfortably. “She comes to be married _to_ her. You need to marry her.”

J’onn turned to Lena. “Do you come here to marry this woman?”

“I do,” Lena smiled.

“If either of you know any reason why you should not be married, please say so now.”

“Do you Lena?” Kara asked, anger starting to creep into her voice.

“No,” Lena chuckled a little uncomfortably.

“Do you Kara?” J’onn asked.

“I can answer for her, no.” Lillian said.

“The things people dare to do, the things they are allowed to do! People do things all the time not knowing what they’re doing.” Kara paused. She turned to Lillian. “Are you giving me your daughter completely?”

“Yes, as much as God gave her to me.” Lillian answered.

“What should I give you that is worth the same as this” Kara looked at Lena. “Precious gift,” she almost sneered.

“Nothing except for grandchildren.” Cat answered.

“Miss Grant, you taught me how to be noble in thanking someone. Here, Lillian, take her back.” Kara practically pushed Lena towards Lillian. Lillian caught her and held her in her arms. Maggie took a step towards them, coming between Kara and Lena. “You shouldn't give your friend a rotten orange! She only looks faithful. She's blushing, look at her pretending to be pure. All of you looking at her would think she is pure from the way she looks. But she isn't, she's been in someone’s bed. She's blushing because of guilt not modesty. Look at her blush, she must be a slut!”

“What do you mean?” Lillian asked.

“I’m not marrying her. I won’t join my soul with someone that’s proven to be a slut.”

Lillian walked closer to Kara. Maggie moved to Lena. “But if it was you-” Lillian started.

“I know what you are about to say. If it was me who did it, you’d say we did so as a married couple. But no, I did not do it. I treated her with sincerity.”

“Did it seem like I didn’t treat you that way!” Lena called.

“You and your appearance of goodness!” Kara shouted. “You look pure but you’re actually an animal, allowed to be wild.”

Are you okay? Why are you talking so weirdly?” Lena asked.

“Cat say something!” Lillian called.

“What should I say?” Cat asked walking towards them. “I’m here dishonored. I helped my friend marry a common whore.”

“Is this really happening or am I dreaming?” Lillian asked herself.

“This is happening and it’s all true.” Snapper said.

“This does not feel like a wedding,” Alex said awkwardly.

“Lillian am I standing here?” Kara asked. She walked to Cat, “is this Ms. Grant?” She walked over to Lena who was with Maggie. “Is this Lena’s face?”

“Yes to all of those questions. Why are you asking?”

“Let me ask her one question and make her answer honestly.”

“Lena you are my daughter and I order you to answer honestly.”

“God help me! I’m being tormented, attacked!

“Tell me your real name.” Kara demanded, getting even closer to Lena so there was barely any space between them.

“Is it not Lena? You can’t stain it with just an accusation.”

“You did.” Kara pointed at her. “You stained your own virtue. Who was that man that you were talking to last night between midnight and one? If you’re faithful, you’ll answer the question.”

“I wasn’t talking to a man at that time.”

“Well then, you are not faithful. Lillian I am sorry you have to hear this.” Cat said. “I swear we saw and heard Lena talking to a man last night. That man said he had secretly gone to her room thousands of times.”

“Don’t say what she has done.” Snapper added. “Any way that you say it, it will offend everyone. Pretty lady, I’m ashamed of your behavior.”

“Oh Lena, you could have lived up to your name.” Kara said shaking her head. “If even half of your outer beauty matched your thoughts and desires. You're beautiful like the sun and it's light but inside you are dark. Goodbye you beautiful sinner. Goodbye to your pure immorality and your immoral purity. Thanks to you, I'll stay away from love. I shall wear glasses that will make the beautiful things I see look like danger so I can't be tricked again.” Kara moved away from Lena.

Lena started to faint, Maggie quickly catches her. “Lena?” She said.

“Let’s go, her misdeeds becoming public have overwhelmed her.” Snapper said. He walks away followed by Cat and Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the play there is a reference to the Greek myth of Hero and Leander, I wanted to do something similar and Lena has the meanings sunlight, generous, and kind.
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn  
> Friar Francis: J'onn


	13. Thirteen

Maggie was crouched down with Lena in her arms. Alex walked over to them and helped to hold Lena. “How is she?” Alex asked quietly.

“I think she died.” Maggie said. “Help, Lillian! Lena, why Lena?” She called. “Friar!” J’onn moved closer to them.

Lillian stood off to the side and looked at them. “She has dishonored us. Death is the only way to cover up her shame.”

“Lena, are you okay?”

Lena began to stir. “Take comfort.” J’onn said.

“Are you looking up?” Lillian asked.

“Yes, why shouldn’t she?”

“Why not? Every living thing is condemning her, right? Can she deny the accusations that have made her blush. Why did I have a child? Why did I love you? I did everything for you, I loved you and praised you, and was proud to call you mine. You have fallen into a pit of ink and there is nothing that will wash you clean again. It would be better if you were dead.”

Lena stood up and Alex moved towards Lillian. “Please calm down. This is so much, I don’t know what to say.” Alex said.

“She has been slandered.” Maggie said.

“Did you sleep in her room last night?”

“No. But I did every other night this last year.”

“That’s even more proof and the case against you was already strong. Would Ms. Grant, Mr. Carr, and Kara lie? Kara loved you so much that talking about how horrible you are made her cry.”

“Listen for a minute.” J’onn said. “I haven't said anything because I've been watching Lena. I've seen her begin to blush a thousand times, and every time been replaced with an innocent paleness. Her eyes show a fire that seems to burn away the lies the other have said about her. Call me a fool, don't believe what I think, don't trust my age, reputation, position, holiness. You can doubt me if it turns out that this lady is guilty.”

“She has to be.”

“Lena, what mad do they accuse you of being with?”

“Ask them, I don’t know. I’ve never been with a man and if I had, let all my sins be punished. Mother, if you can prove that I was with a man at an indecent hour, you can disown me, hate me, torture me to death.”

“That seems unnecessary,” J’onn commented.

“You have shamed me and our name. It would be better if you were dead.” Lillian said.

“Mother I did not-” Lena started but Lillian stormed off before she could finish. “She’s right.” Lena said and sat down on the ground. “She’s right, our family’s honor has been destroyed. I should be dead.”

“We will figure something out.” Maggie put her arm around Lean.

“There must be some misunderstanding with the others.” J’onn said.

“Miss Grant and Kara are completely honorable,” Alex said. “If they have been tricked, it has to be Snapper. He loves to create trouble.”

“I should fake my own death,” Lena said.

Everyone looked at her. Maggie pulled her arm away to get a better look at Lena. No one said anything at first.

“Or you could not,” J’onn said slowly. “Communication is often key in a relationship.”

“No.” Lena stood up. “They left me to die. So I'll die. She'll hear that I am dead and will feel bad, thinking that her words have killed me. At the least dying will stop the rumors about me cheating. And if it doesn't work then you can send me to a nunnery or some where like that away from everyone.”

“I don’t know about this.”

“Does any one have a better plan?” No one responded. “Then this is the plan. I’ll go and hide myself now.” Lena walked away; J’onn followed her to help her.

“Maggie, have you been crying this whole time?” Alex asked as she moved closer to Maggie.

“Yes and I’ll continue to.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“You don’t have to. I am crying on my own.”

“I believe that Lena is innocent.”

Maggie walked over to one of the chairs that had been set up for wedding attendees. “Who ever avenges her could ask me for anything.”

“Is there anyway I could show such friendship to you?” Alex sat down next to her.

“There is, but no friend to do it.”

“Could I do it?”

“No. Not you.”

“Do you know what is strange? There is nothing in this world I love as much as you.”

Maggie looked up at Alex. “It’s as strange as the fact that I could just as easily say that there is nothing in this world I love as much as you.” She sniffled. “Don’t believe me, but I’m not lying. I confess nothing and I deny nothing.” She wiped her eyes and looked away. “I feel bad for Lena.”

“I swear, Maggie, you love me.”

“Don’t swear you love me and then eat your words.” Maggie said shaking her head.

“I will swear by it that you love me,” Alex took one of Maggie’s hands in her own. “And I’ll make anyone who say I don’t love you, eat it.”

Maggie looked back at Alex. “But you won’t eat you words?”

“There is not a sauce they could provide that would make me.” She paused. “I swear, I love you.”

“You got me at the right moment, I was about to swear that I love you.”

“Then do it, with all your heart.”

“I love you with so much of my heart that there is none left to protest.”

“Ask me to do anything.” Alex said.

“Kill Kara.”

“I wouldn’t do that for the entire Earth.”

“You kill me to deny it.” Maggie stood up. “Goodbye.” She started to move away.

“Maggie,” Alex grabbed Maggie’s hand.

“I swear I’m going.”

“We’ll be friends first.” Alex said standing.

Maggie pulled her hand away. “How dare you try to be my friend when you refuse to fight my enemy.” She walked away from Alex.

“Is Kara your enemy?”

Maggie stopped and looked at Alex. They were a couple of yards apart from each other. “Hasn't she shown herself to be a villain? Slandering, scorning, and dishonoring my best friend. She pretended everything was fine until they were exchanging vows and then, in front of everyone, blatant slander, hatred. I wish I could rip out her heart in public and eat it.”

“Listen to me Maggie-” Alex started to move towards her.

“Lena with a man?” Maggie laughed. “A likely story.”

“No, but Maggie-”

“Sweet Lena. She’s been wronged, she’s been slandered, she’s been ruined.”

“Mag-”

“As a woman I’ll die. From grieving.” Tears were coming down Maggie’s face.

“Wait Maggie.” Alex closed the distance between them. “By this hand, I love you.”

“Don’t just swear by it, use your hand to prove your love.”

“Do you truly think that Kara has wrongly accused Lena?”

“Yes. As sure as I am that I have a thought or a soul.”

Alex paused. “Then that’s enough for me. I’ll challenge her. I will kiss your hand and then leave you. By this hand, Kara will pay for what she has done. Keep me in your thoughts as you comfort Lena. I’ll go tell them she died. Goodbye.” Alex walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you haven't read the play, this is where it starts to shift away a little. I wanted to give Lena at least a little agency since Hero has basically none and I figured Lena was extra enough to think that faking her own death was the best solution.
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn  
> Friar Francis: J'onn


	14. Fourteen

James and Winn sat across from one another in an empty interview room. Lucy walked into the room and sat down, opening up a notebook and taking out a pen. “Is all of our dissembly here?” James asked.

“Which ones are the culprits?” Lucy asked.

“That would be me and my partner.”

“Yes,” Winn added. “We have been exhibitioned to examine this case.”

“Who are the criminals that I need to examine?” Lucy asked.

“Yes, have them come to me.” James said and motioned with his hand. A couple watchmen entered the room with Maxwell and Mon-El. “What is your name?”

“Mon-El.”

“Please write ‘Mon-El.’ What’s yours?”

“I’m a gentleman, sir, my name is Maxwell.”

“Write down ‘Master Gentleman Maxwell.’ Are you good Christians?”

“I hope so.” Maxwell and Mon-El both said.

“Put down that they hope they serve God. It’s already been proven that you aren’t much better than lying criminals and soon we’ll know for sure. What do you say for yourself.”

“Honestly, we are not criminals.” Maxwell said.

“He’s a witty man but I can get around him. Come here, and I’ll tell you. We believe you are both lying criminals.”

“I’m telling you, we aren’t.” Mon-El said.

“Both of their stories match. Have you written that they aren’t criminals?”

“Mr. Olsen, you are going about this the wrong way. First you need to talk to the watchmen who accused them.” Lucy said, try to keep a calm tone in her voice.

“Yes, that is the eftest way. I order you to accuse these men.”

“This man said that Snapper Carr was a villain.” Seacole said.

“Write down that Mr. Carr is a villain. That is flat perjury to call someone that powerful a villain.”

“Mr. Olsen-” Mon-El started.

“Be quiet. I don’t like the look of you.”

“What else did you hear him say?” Lucy asked the watchmen.

“That Snapper had given them money for wrongfully accusing Lena Luthor.”

“That’s burglary.” James said.

“Yes it is.” Winn added.

“What else did you hear?”

“I heard that Kara Danvers planned to disgrace Lena in front of everyone at the wedding and refuse to marry her.” Seacole said.

“You villain!” James yelled at Mon-El. “You will be condemned to everlasting redemption for this!”

“What else?” Lucy asked again.

“That’s all.” The other watchman said.

“You can’t deny this,” Lucy said to Mon-El and Maxwell. “This morning, Snapper Carr snuck out of National City. Lena was accused exactly how the watchmen described and died from grief.” She turned to James. “Mr. Olsen, bound these men and take them to Lillian. I’ll go there first and tell her what we have found out.” She closed her notebook and then walked out of the interview room.

“Let’s get them opinioned.” James said. They stood up.

James and Winn grabbed Maxwell and Mon-El. “Let them be in the hands-” Winn started.

“Get off me you fool!” Maxwell shouted, trying to move out of James’ grip.

“Where is the sexton?” James asked. “She should write that I was called a fool. Tie them up!” He moved closer to Maxwell. “You are a ruffian.”

“Get away from me you ass.” Maxwell moved again and was able to free himself. “You are an ass!” One of the watchmen grabbed Maxwell and the other took Mon-El.

“How dare you call me that?” James yelled. “Don’t you respect my position, my experience?” He turned to Winn. “If only the sexton was here to write that I am an ass! Remember that I am an ass; even though it’s not written down, don’t forget that I am an ass.” James moved so he was only an inch or two from Maxwell’s face. “You are a rotten bastard. I am a wise man and more than that, I am an officer, and as handsome hunk of meat as anyone in National City.” He turned around and walked away a little. “I know the law. Take him away.” The watchmen took Maxwell and Mon-El out of the room. “Oh if only the sexton had written down that I am an ass.” He said shaking his head.

….

Hank entered Lena’s office. Lillian was sitting on the couch looking at the empty desk. “If you keep this up you will kill yourself.” Hank said and Lillian looked at him. “You are just adding to your grief.”

“Stop telling me what to do.” Lillian said standing up. “Your words mean nothing.” She walked to the desk and stood behind it. “Only someone who has been through something similar can help me. Please just leave me alone.”

“Don’t take all the pain on yourself. Make the people who made you suffer, suffer as well.”

Lillian looked up at him. “I like the sound of that.”

Hank looked over his shoulder. “Miss Grant and Kara are coming over.”

“Speak of the devils.” Lillian muttered.

Cat and Kara walked into the office. “Good evening, good evening.” Cat said.

“Good day to you both.” Kara said.

“Listen-” Lillian started.

“We’re in a hurry Lillian.” Cat said.

“A hurry? Then goodbye. If you’re in a hurry, don’t worry.”

“Don’t fight with us.” Cat said.

“If she wants to fight, some of us here should hide.” Hank said.

“Who has wronged her?” Kara asked.

“You have wronged me!” Lillian shouted. “Don’t bother trying to imitate me, I’m not scared of you.”

“I did not mean to threaten you.”

Lillian moved around the desk and walked towards Kara. “Don’t mock and sneer at me. I’m not an idiot old woman who brags about what she has done and what she would do now if she wasn’t so old.” She reached Kara and was only a couple inches from her. “Kara I’m telling you that you have wronged me and my innocent child. I challenge you to a duel. You ruined my child, your slander has broken her heard and now she is buried in a tomb with her ancestors who never saw a scandal until you caused it with your villainy.”

“My villainy?” Kara asked.

“Yours Kara, yours.”

“You’ve got it wrong.” Cat said.

“If she dares to accept this challenge, I’ll beat her and prove she’s guilty.”

“I’ll have nothing to do with you.”

“Do you think you can get rid of me that easily? You’ve killed my child.”

“We won’t stay here and make you even angrier.” Cat cut in. “I am sorry about your daughter’s death. But our accusations were true, there was proof.”

“Miss Grant-”

“I don’t want to hear about it any more.”

“No! I want to be heard by someone.”

“And you will, or people will suffer for it.”

“Let’s go,” Cat said to Kara. They left the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn  
> Friar Francis: J'onn  
> Sexton: Lucy Lane


	15. Fifteen

Cat and Kara walked out of the elevator into the L-Corp lobby and saw Alex. “Just the person we were looking for.” Cat said.

“What’s going on?” Kara asked.

“Hello,” Alex said flatly.

“We’ve been looking for you. We are quite sad. Would you tell some jokes to try and get it to go away?”

“My wit is with my gun, should I take it out?”

“No one carried their wit next to them. C’mon, draw your wit.”

“Alex looks pale. Are you sick or angry?” Cat asked.

“Lighten up!” Kara clapped Alex on the shoulder.

Alex looked at Kara’s hand on her shoulder. “Don’t try to beat me in a battle of wits. I’ll meet you at all of your attacks.” Kara moved her hand. “Choose another.”

“She seems to be getting paler.” Cat commented. “I think she’s really angry.”

“If she is, that’s her problem.” Kara said.

“Can I speak to you alone?”

“She wants to challenge me.” Kara laughed.

“You are a villain.” Alex said quietly to Kara so that Cat couldn’t hear. “I’m not kidding. I challenge you however you want. Meet this challenge or I’ll say you are a coward. You’ve killed an innocent woman; you are going to pay for her death. What do you say?”

“I’ll be there.”

“What a feast?” Cat asked.

“Yes. She has invited my to have a calves-head and a capon. She said if I don’t carve them nicely, she’ll say I have no skill with a knife. Should I get us a woodcock too?”

“Your wit is quite slow and rambling.”

“Alex, Maggie complimented your wit.” Cat said. “She turned all of your good qualities into bad ones. But in the end she did say that you were the most beautiful woman in National City.”

“She cried a lot after that and said she didn’t care.” Kara added.

“Yeah. She said that if she didn’t hate her to death, she’d love her to death. Lillian’s daughter told us everything.”

“Everything. God saw Alex when she was hiding in the lobby.”

“But when will we see Alex get married?”

“With the sign that says ‘See Alex Danvers, Married Woman’?”

“Goodbye. You know what I mean. I'll leave you to your gossip. Your wit is a blunt sword, it can't hurt anyone. Thank God. Ma'am, I thank you for your kindnesses. I'm leaving you now. Your partner, Snapper, has fled from National City. The three of you have killed an innocent woman. She'll meet me for a duel and good luck to her.” Alex walked back out of the lobby.

“She’s serious.” Cat commented.

“Very serious. It has to be because of Maggie.”

“She challenged you to a duel.”

“Yes, very seriously.”

“How odd.” Cat paused. “Wait, didn’t she say that Snapper had run away?”

James, Winn, and two watchmen entered with Mon-El and Maxwell. “Come on.” James said. “If they let you off then we’ll know that justice has lost all of it’s power. You are a lying hypocrite so we have to look after you.”

“What’s going on?” Cat asked looking at them. “Two of my partner’s men are tied up. And Mon-El is one of them!”

“Ask what they are being held for.” Kara said to Cat.

Cat walked forward a little. “Officers, what have these men done?”

“Well Ma'am, they have lied. Second, they said things that weren't true. Sixth and lastly, they have falsely accused a lady. Thirdly they confirmed things that did not happen. Overall they are lying ruffians.” James said.

Cat looked at him for a second. “First: what have they done? Thirdly: what are they charged with. Sixth and lastly: why have they been committed here. In conclusion: what are they accused of?”

Kara moved forward. “Good job, you’ve said it in a way he’ll understand. God, he said the same thing six ways.”

“What have you done gentlemen?” Cat asked Mon-El and Maxwell. “This constable is far too,” she glanced at James. “Smart for me to understand. What did you do?”

“Ma'am I won't let this go on any longer.” Mon-El said. “Listen to what I have to say, then let her Miss Danvers kill me. I tricked you both. These idiots have figured out what you in all your intelligence could not. They heard me tell Maxwell about how Snapper encouraged me to slander Lena. How you were brought to see me and Alana, who was disguised as Lena. How you disgraced Lena when you were supposed to marry her. They wrote down my crimes and I would rather die then repeat the horrible story. The lady has died because of the lies of me and my master. I deserve a criminal's punishment.”

“Does this make your blood run cold?” Cat asked Kara.

“His words feel like poison to me.”

“Did Snapper suggest you do all of this?”

“Yes, and paid me well.” Mon-El answered.

“He is made of treachery and has run away to avoid his problems.”

“Sweet Lena, now when I think of you, you are as beautiful as when I first loved you.” Kara said to herself.

“Come, take away the plaintiffs.” James said. “Lucy has reformed Miss Luthor by now of everything.” He turned to Cat and Kara. “And please do not forget to specify whenever it is convenient that I am an ass.”

“Here comes Miss Luthor with Lucy.” Winn said.

Lillian, Hank, Lucy, and J’onn were exiting the elevator. Lillian was practically running towards them. “Which one did it? Let me see what he looks like. If I see someone who looks like him, I’ll know to avoid him. Which one?”

“If you want the liar, then look at me.” Mon-El said.

“Are you the slave that killed my innocent daughter with your slander?” Lillian asked charging towards him.

“Yes, that was me.”

“No villain. But you didn’t work alone.” She motioned at Kara and Cat. “Here are two respectable people, the third has run away, who helped you.” She paused and looked at Cat and Kara. “Thank you for my daughter’s death. Go ahead and add that to your long list of righteous and worthy deeds. It was very brave of you.”

“I don’t know how to ask you for forgiveness. But I have to say something. Choose your revenge. Punish me how ever you want, but I sinned through mistake.”

“Me too.” Cat said. “But to please this woman, I will bear any punishment you give.”

Lillian looked at J’onn who nodded at her. She looked back at Kara. “I can't ask you to make my daughter live. That's impossible. But I want you both to tell everyone in National City that she was innocent when she died. And if your love can produce something from its sadness than write a poem for her and put it with her grave. Sing it to her body. Do it tonight. My brother has a daughter who looks just like Lena, she is the heir to both of us. Marry her as you would have married Lena. Then I'll let my revenge die.”

“Ma’am! Your kindness makes me cry. I will accept your offer and put my future in your hands.”

“I will see you tomorrow. I have to leave. This wicked man will be brought face to face with Alana, who I believe was hired by Snapper to be part of this.”

“She wasn’t.” Mon-El said. “She didn’t know anything about it. She’s always been good and honest.”

Lillian started to walk away. James moved over to her. “Also Ma'am, this isn't in writing but I should tell you that this plaintiff here, this criminal, called me an ass. Please remember that when you punish him. The watchmen also heard the criminals talking about someone named Deformed. Make sure you ask about him.”

Lillian looked at James for a moment. “Thank you for your work.”

“You speak like a very thankful and respectful person. God bless you.”

Lillian took out some money and handed it to James. “This is for your trouble.”

“God save the foundation!”

“Go, you are relieved of your duty. Thank you.”

“I leave a total ruffian with you to punish and make an example our of. I wish you well. I will let you go now, God prohibiting we will meet again. Come on.” James walked out of the lobby, followed by Winn.

“I will see you in the morning.” Lillian said to Cat and Kara.

“We will be there.” Cat said.

“I will mourn Lena tonight.” Kara said.

“Bring these criminals with us.” Lillian said to the watchmen. “We’ll go talk to Alana to see how she became involved with this idiot.” She walked out of the lobby followed by the watchmen, Mon-El and Maxwell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn  
> Friar Francis: J'onn  
> Sexton: Lucy Lane


	16. Sixteen

Alex paced near one of the couches in the L-Corp lobby. She was looking at a piece of paper in one hand, pen in the other. She sung:

       The God of love,

       that sits above,

       And knows me, and knows me,

       How pitiful I deserve-

Alex sat down on the couch. “I wasn’t meant to be a poet, I don’t think I can woo a lady with pretty words.” Maggie walked into the lobby. Alex shot up. “Maggie! Have you come because I asked you to?”

“Yes and I’ll leave when you ask me to.”

“Please stay until I say when.”

“You just said ‘when’ so I’ll go now. But before I do, tell me what happened between you and Kara.”

“I used foul words with her, and now I will kiss you.”

“If you spoke foul words, than your breath must be foul. So I’ll leave without being kissed.”

“I have challenged Kara and she’ll either accept the challenge or admit that she’s a coward. Now tell me: which of my bad qualities did you fall in love with first?”

“All of them at once. They work together to form such a bad person that a good trait couldn’t ever enter the mix. Tell me: which of my good qualities first made you suffer love for me?”

“Suffer love! Good phrase because I love you against my will.”

“You love me in spite of your heart. If you spite your heart for my sake than I will spite it for yours. I will never love the thing my friend hates.”

“You and I are too smart to woo each other peacefully.”

“No truly smart person would praise himself. If you say you are smart, you probably aren’t.”

“That saying is old. From a time when friends praised each other. Now if someone doesn’t build his own statue before he does, he won’t be remembered once his widow stops crying.”

“How long do you think that is?”

“Maybe fifteen minutes.” Alex paused. “How is your friend?”

“She’s very sick.”

“And you?”

“Also sick.”

“Love me and you will get better.” Alex paused. “I’ll stop there, someone is coming.”

Jess walked over to them. “Ma’am, you have to go to Lillian’s. It’s been proven that Lena is innocent, that Miss Grant and Kara were deceived and that Snapped, who has fled, was the source of everything. Can you come now?”

“Will you come with me to hear the news?” Maggie asked Alex.

“I will do anything for you. I will go with you to Lillian’s.” They walked out of the lobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn  
> Friar Francis: J'onn  
> Sexton: Lucy Lane


	17. Seventeen

Alex, Maggie, Jess, and Hank were all around the lobby of L-Corp. Lillian walked in with J’onn. “I told you she was innocent.” J’onn said.

“And Miss Grant and Kara who accused her are also innocent because they were deceived. Alana is partially guilty although we found out that she did not do this intentionally.” She said as they reached the others.

“I’m glad everything has been sorted out.” Hank said.

“Me too, or I would have had to duel with Kara.” Alex said.

“Miss Luthor, come with me.” J’onn said and then led her to a room off to the side.

Lena was in her wedding dress, sitting on the couch, arms folded in front of her chest. “Lena! You’re alive! I can’t believe it!”

“I am,” Lena said coldly.

Lillian approached her daughter a little apprehensively. “I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you, that I said the things that I did. That you felt you needed to fake your own death to prove you were innocent. I am so sorry I didn’t believe you. I should have believed you.”

“I needed both of you to know the truth and figure out your feelings without me being there. Then I knew it would be honest.”

“Both?”

“You and Kara. You both killed me.”

“I know Kara did but I-”

“Kara may have shamed me publically. But you’re my mother. You claimed you loved me so much only to follow it with how much I disappointed you and that I had disgraced our family.”

“If I could take it back, I would.”

“But you can’t.” She paused and stood up. “Maggie told me how you mourned my even before you knew the truth, that you did feel remorse and regret. How once you knew the truth, you worked to clear my name and punish those responsible. How you did what J’onn told you to do with out asking questions so that my plan could be carried out.”

“I am so sorry for the things I said to you.”

“Now, I need to go with the others. When we come, our faces will be covered. Kara cannot know my true identity until it is time. They should be here soon.” Lena walked out of the room.

Lillian watched her leave. She smiled. “That’s my girl.” She said quietly before walking out and rejoining Hank, J’onn, and Alex.

“J’onn, I think I need a favor from you.” Alex said.

“What do you need me to do?”

“Tie me up, or undo me. One or the other.” She paused. “The truth is, Maggie likes me.”

“It’s true.” Lillian said. “She sees you with the eyes that my daughter has lent her.”

“And I see her through the eyes of love.”

“What do you want?”

“I want your blessing to be married. That is where you come in, J’onn.”

“I give you my blessing.” Lillian said.

“And I’ll help you.” J’onn added.

Cat and Kara entered the lobby, dressed up nicely. Kara was wearing the same dress she had worn to her first wedding. “Good morning everyone.” Cat said.

“Good morning Miss Grant. Good morning Kara. We were waiting on you. Are you still okay to marry my brother’s daughter?”

“I wouldn’t change my mind, even if she was ugly.”

“Let’s go out to the terrace then.” Lillian led the way to the elevator.

“Good morning Alex. What’s wrong?” Cat asked as they rode up.

“I think she’s nervous.” Kara said. “She is going to be the savage bull who’s domesticated. Don’t worry, we can dip your horns in gold and make you pretty.” The elevator’s doors opened. “But first there are other matters.”

Maggie, Jess, and Lena stood near the entrance, all wearing veils over their faces. “Which is the lady I will be marrying?” Kara asked.

“This one,” Lillian walked over to Lena.

“Okay, she’s the one.” Kara took a couple steps towards Lena. “Can I see your face?”

“No, you must take her hand and swear to marry her in front of J’onn first.”

“May I have your hand?” Kara asked Lena. Lena paused before extending her hand to Kara’s. “With J’onn as my witness, I will be your wife if you want me.”

“When I lived I was your other wife. And when you loved me you were my other wife.” Lena took the veil off of her face.

“Another Lena!” Kara said surprised, almost pulling away in shock.

“Yes. One Lena died when she was slandered but I live and as surely as I live, I am yours.”

“It’s the old Lena!” Cat called. “The Lena that died!”

“She was only dead as long as her slander lived.” Lillian said.

“Can I kiss you?” Kara asked. Lena nodded and they kissed. Kara put her arm around Lena.

“I can confirm that all of these things are true. After the wedding I can tell you everything. But until then, let’s just have the wedding.” J’onn said. Everyone started to move towards the arbor.

“Wait a moment J’onn.” Alex said. Everyone stopped. She moved closer towards Jess and Maggie. “Which one of you is Maggie?”

Maggie took off her veil. “I answer to that name. What do you want?”

Alex moved even closer. “Do you love me?”

“No,” she scoffed. “No more than is expected.”

“Well then Miss Luthor, Miss Grant, and Kara have been tricked. They swore you loved me.”

“Do you love me?” Maggie countered.

“No. No more than you would expect.” Alex pulled away a little.

“Well then Lena, Jess, and Alana have been tricked. They swore you did.”

“They swore you were sick with love for me.”

Maggie laughed. “They swore you were nearly dead with love me.”

“So you don’t love me?” Alex asked.

“No. Maybe as a friend.”

“Come on, I’m sure you love her.” Lillian said.

“And I swear that Alex loves her.” Kara pulled out a piece of paper. “Here’s a poem in Alex’s handwriting, dedicated to Maggie.”

“Here’s another poem that I stole from Maggie.” Lena said holding a piece of paper. “It talks about her admiration for Alex.”

“Our handwriting gives away our feelings.” Alex said looking at Maggie. “I’ll take you, but only out of pity.”

“I won’t say no to you. But I’m only doing it because of all the persuasion.” Maggie paused and looked at Alex. “And to save your life.”

“Whatever you say.” Alex said and then kissed Maggie.

“How does it feel to be Alex, the married woman?” Cat asked.

Alex put her arm around Maggie. “You can’t change my mood today. You think I care what I get called? I don’t.”

“I was hoping you would have turned down Maggie.” Kara said. “Then I could have smacked you out of your single life.”

“We’re all friends. Let’s dance and have some fun.”

“We can dance after the wedding.” Lillian said.

Siobhan walked onto the terrace. “Miss Grant, Snapper has been caught and brought back to National City.”

“Don’t worry about him today. Tomorrow I will come up with some horrible punishments for him. I’m sure Lena and Kara would be happy to help with that too.” Kara pulled Lena closer to her. “Play some music!” Alex called.

Music started to play and they started to dance. Kara with Lena and Alex with Maggie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading this. Especially when I fell off the Earth for a while. This was one of the things I've enjoyed working on the most. I have no idea if I'll be posting any fics in the future. Check out my other stuff if you haven't.
> 
> Tumblr: gay-asa-window  
> Twitter: @shaw_dog21
> 
> Who's Who: (I'll update as we meet them)  
> Don Pedro: Cat Grant  
> Don John: Snapper Carr  
> Claudio: Kara Danvers  
> Benedick: Alex Danvers  
> Leonato: Lillian Luthor  
> Balthasar: Siobhan Smythe  
> Hero: Lena Luthor  
> Beatrice: Maggie Sawyer  
> Antonio: Hank Henshaw  
> Borachio: Mon-El  
> Conrad: Maxwell Lord  
> Margaret: Alana  
> Ursula: Jess  
> Dogberry: James  
> Verges: Winn  
> Friar Francis: J'onn  
> Sexton: Lucy Lane


End file.
